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RELATIONAL THRESHOLD SUPPORT™
YOUR RELATIONSHIP ISN'T BROKEN.
IT'S AT A THRESHOLD.
KEY DIFFERENCES:
NOT THERAPY:
I'm not licensed therapist. I don't diagnose or treat. I witness relational threshold crossing.
NOT MEDIATION:
I'm not mediator. I don't make legal decisions or divide assets. (For divorce/separation, I prepare you emotionally for mediation, but you need an actual mediator for legal process.)
NOT RELATIONSHIP COACHING:
I don't give advice or tell you what to do. I ask questions, hold mirror, witness.
GROUNDED IN LIVED EXPERIENCE:
I've crossed the relational thresholds I hold:
- Two marriages, two divorces
- High-conflict co-parenting with narcissistic ex (years of litigation)
- Raising thriving kids through impossible circumstances
- Finding safe partnership after trauma
- Holding 20+ year friendships through everything
This isn't textbook knowledge. This is embodied wisdom.
I'm Zukiswa Phoofolo
GUIDE OF PROFOUND CROSSINGS
I hold relational thresholds from lived experience, not theory.
I've crossed:
TWO MARRIAGES, TWO DIVORCES:
I know partnership ending. I know the identity death of "we" becoming "I." I know how to grieve while dividing a life.
HIGH-CONFLICT CO-PARENTING:
My narcissistic ex litigated for years trying to take primary custody. False accusations. Parental alienation attempts. Court battles. Psychological warfare.
I know this battlefield intimately.
RAISING THRIVING CHILDREN THROUGH HELL:
Despite years of divorce litigation and co-parenting with a disordered person, my children are psychologically healthy, emotionally regulated, academically thriving, and following their passions.
They are the evidence that conscious crossing works.
FINDING SAFE PARTNERSHIP AFTER TRAUMA:
After two divorces and narcissistic abuse, I found conscious, grounded, safe partnership. I know what it takes to love again after being shattered.
SUSTAINING 20+ YEAR FRIENDSHIPS:
My chosen family held me through cancer, divorces, death, litigation, single parenting. I held them through their own illnesses, grief, career endings, identity crises.
We're still here. Because we learned to cross thresholds together.
SURVIVING LITIGATION (AND ADVOCATING AGAINST IT):
I spent tens of thousands on attorneys. Years in court. PTSD symptoms. Hypervigilance. Litigation devastated me financially, psychologically, and relationally.
I am strongly biased toward mediation. If mediation is possible in your situation, I will advocate for it passionately.
But I know mediation isn't always possible (personality disorders, abuse, extreme high-conflict). If you're in litigation, I'll support you through it with integrity intact.
I don't hold relational thresholds from distance.
I hold them from the inside.
I know what therapy doesn't teach: what it's actually like to divorce while still loving someone, to co-parent with someone who hates you, to protect children from a disordered parent, to find love again after believing you were broken.
That's my medicine.
WHAT I BELIEVE:
ON STAYING TOGETHER VS. SEPARATING:
I have no agenda. Some relationships should end. Some should transform and continue. My job is helping you cross consciously-whichever direction the crossing takes you.
ON DIVORCE:
Divorce isn't failure. It's a threshold. It can be crossed consciously (with integrity, grief, care) or unconsciously (with warfare, destruction, trauma). I advocate for consciousness, not staying together at all costs.
ON CHILDREN:
Children survive divorce. They don't survive parental warfare. My priority is always protecting children's wellbeing-which means supporting parents to hold their own pain without weaponising kids.
ON HIGH-CONFLICT SITUATIONS:
Some people (narcissists, borderlines, unmanaged personality disorders) cannot cross consciously. When you're dealing with a disordered co-parent/ex, parallel parenting is reality. I'll help you survive it with sanity intact.
ON LITIGATION VS. MEDIATION:
I am strongly biased toward mediation. I've lived the devastation of litigation. If you can mediate, do. I'll help you prepare. But if litigation unavoidable, I'll support you through it.
ON FRIENDSHIP:
Friendship is undervalued medicine. Chosen family holds us as powerfully as blood family or partners. This work honours friendship as sacred bond.
ON SHADOW:
Relational work that bypasses shadow (rage, shame, resentment, fear) is performative. Real crossing includes darkness. We go there together.
ON RITUAL:
Thresholds require marking. I design rituals for: separation, divorce completion, family passages, marriage preparation, friendship renewal. Ritual completes what words can't.
WHICH SERVICE IS RIGHT FOR YOUR SITUATION?
START HERE
What relational threshold are you crossing?
MARRIAGE/PARTNERSHIP AT CROSSROADS:
One or both partners at threshold? Relationship in crisis? External threshold threatening partnership?
→ Couples at Threshold
SEPARATING OR DIVORCING:
Divorce decided or 95% decided? Want to do it consciously?
→ Conscious Uncoupling Support
CO-PARENTING CHALLENGES:
Already divorced/separated and co-parenting is breaking down? High-conflict situation?
→ Co-Parenting Through Threshold
FAMILY IN CRISIS:
Death, diagnosis, adolescence, blended family formation, collective trauma?
→ Family Threshold Navigation
PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE:
Engaged or considering marriage? Want conscious preparation?
→ Pre-Marriage Threshold Preparation
FRIENDSHIP TRANSFORMATION:
Close friend group navigating thresholds together? Friendship itself transforming?
→ Friendship Circle Threshold Holding
STILL UNSURE?
Schedule a free 20-minute call to discuss your situation and determine best fit.
PRICING SUMMARY
My Background
I have over 10 years of experience as a certified life coach and have helped hundreds of clients achieve their goals and improve their overall well-being. My approach is holistic and tailored to each individual's unique needs.