I Hold Thresholds Because I've Crossed Them
ABOUT
WHO I AM & WHY THIS WORK
My grandmother was a seer.
She lived to 99, and she became MORE herself with each decade - fiercer, gentler, wiser, freer. She never apologised for her intensity. She held both/and: fierce AND gentle, spiritual AND practical. She did depth work before that language existed. She faced her shadows without spiritual bypassing.
She taught me: You don't survive thresholds. You cross them. You do the work. You integrate what the crossing teaches you. And on the other side, you're the elder you're meant to be.
She crossed every threshold consciously until her last breath. She showed me it's possible.
My partner has crossed consciously too.
He's done the actual depth work - shadow integration, grief fully felt, rage acknowledged, meaning remade. He emerged transformed, not just "over it."
He shows me daily: Conscious crossing isn't just women's work. It's human work. And it's possible for anyone willing to stay present during the unravelling.
THE TRAINING THAT GROUNDS ME
Psychologist-in-Training:
- Currently completing Psychology Registration (M.Psych, expected 2029)
- Bachelor of Social Science completed (Psychology & Anthropology, University of Pretoria)
- Specialising in narrative counselling for threshold crossings
- Research focus: Facilitating parental narrative reconstruction - protecting children through parents' conscious transition
Early Childhood Development Specialist (15+ years):
- Senior Specialist at National Department of Basic Education
- Led national ECD strategy affecting 6.5 million children
- Montessori-trained educator
- Creator of ECD Clarity Compass™ methodology
- Author of The Principles of Clarity (publishing 2026)
- Deep understanding of how parents' threshold crossings affect children's development
Why this combination matters:
Most therapists understand adult psychology but not child development. Most ECD specialists understand children but not adult transformation. I understand both.
I see how your threshold affects your children. I know what they're absorbing, what they're integrating, what protective factors they need. I help you cross consciously not just for yourself - but for them.
WHAT I BRING TO THIS WORK
The integration of opposites:
I'm fierce AND gentle. I will challenge you with absolute clarity about what you're avoiding, AND I will hold you with tenderness through your unravelling. I won't let you bypass, AND I won't shame you for being human.
I'm spiritual AND grounded. I understand the mystical dimensions of transformation, AND I know you still have to pay your bills and show up for your children. Depth work that's actually practical.
I'm trained AND lived. I have the psychology credentials, AND I've done this work on myself. I know the theory, AND I know what the books don't tell you.
What makes me trustworthy:
I don't hold thresholds from theory or from being untouched by difficulty. I hold them from having crossed them myself - consciously, repeatedly, with depth work and shadow integration. I know the territory. I've been in the void. I've emerged transformed.
I've protected my own children through my crossings. I've maintained fierce boundaries whilst keeping my heart open. I've said no a thousand times to protect what's sacred. I've done the work of not projecting my unresolved trauma onto my children whilst dealing with my unresolved trauma.
This lived experience makes me effective. Because when you're in threshold, you don't need someone who hasn't been there. You need someone who knows the darkness, who's integrated their shadows, who's emerged and can hold the lamp for you.
HOW I WORK: THE THREE STAGES OF CONSCIOUS CROSSING
This isn't therapy. It's threshold work.
STAGE 1: UNRAVELLING Everything falls apart. Your old identity dissolves. Grief, rage, confusion, disorientation. You can't hold the old form anymore. You're being unmade.
I help you: Stay present without numbing. Feel what needs to be felt. Let go of who you were. Not rush to premature resolution.
STAGE 2: RECLAMATION (The Liminal) You're in the void. Neither who you were nor who you'll become. Retrieving lost parts of self. Experimenting with new forms. Shadow integration - facing what you've denied or rejected. Uncertainty and possibility coexist.
I help you: Navigate the void without collapsing. Integrate shadow material. Reclaim disowned parts. Build new identity from depths, not just surface.
STAGE 3: AUTHORSHIP New identity emerges. Integration. You become who the crossing has made you - transformed, not just "over it." You author your new life from the depths.
I help you: Integrate the wisdom. Embody the transformation. Author identity that includes wholeness - fierce AND gentle, dark AND light. Not going back to "normal" - becoming MORE.
WHAT THIS WORK IS NOT
Not therapy: I'm not diagnosing, treating mental illness, or providing clinical interventions. Many clients work with both - therapist for clinical support, me for threshold work. They complement each other.
Not advice: I don't tell you what to do. I ask questions that reveal what you already know. I hold mirror to patterns you can't see. I witness without agenda.
Not spiritual bypassing: This work includes shadow - rage, grief, shame, darkness. Not "love and light" positivity. Not "everything happens for a reason." Real transformation includes the shadow. We go there together.
Not for everyone: This work is for people ready for depth. Ready to face shadows, feel difficult emotions, do actual integration work. If you want quick fixes or surface solutions, this isn't it.
WHO I WORK WITH
Primarily: Parents in threshold
You're navigating:
- Divorce whilst raising children
- Death of parent/partner whilst being a parent
- Diagnosis that changes everything
- Identity crisis whilst maintaining parental role
- High-conflict co-parenting
- Blended family complexity
- Any profound life disruption whilst responsible for children
You want to cross consciously - not for perfection, but for protection. You want to do your work so your children don't inherit your unresolved trauma.
Also: Anyone crossing profound threshold
Even if you're not a parent, if you're navigating death, divorce, diagnosis, identity crisis, spiritual awakening, profound disillusionment - and you're ready for depth work, I can hold you.
What you need:
- Willingness to face shadow (not just light)
- Commitment to feeling emotions fully (not bypassing)
- Readiness for depth (not surface fixes)
- Understanding this takes time (transformation isn't quick)
MY APPROACH IS GROUNDED IN
Lived experience (I've crossed these thresholds) Depth psychology (Jungian, archetypal, shadow work)
Narrative therapy (identity reconstruction through story)
Somatic practices (body-based integration)
Spiritual depth (without bypassing)
Child development expertise (protecting children through adult work)
THE BOOK I'M WRITING
In 2026, I'm publishing The Principles of Clarity - my ECD Clarity Compass™ methodology for early learning practitioners.
Eventually, there will be a second book on threshold work - the integration of everything I've learned crossing consciously, holding others through their crossings, and protecting children through supporting parents' transformations.
THE SPECIFIC THRESHOLDS I'VE CROSSED
PARTNERSHIP THRESHOLDS
- Marriage #1: 14-year relationship, 10-year marriage, ended mid 2018
- Marriage #2: 1-year marriage, ended 2022
- High-conflict parenting litigation: 2022 - present (intermittent, ongoing attempts at primary residence litigation)
- Finding safe partnership after trauma: 2025 - present
PARENTING THRESHOLDS
- Becoming mother: 2008. Second daughter 2010.
- Co-parenting with high-conflict ex: 2018 - present
- Children's developmental thresholds: Puberty, pre-adolescence, identity formation - currently active
DEATH / GRIEF THRESHOLDS
- Significant family deaths: Multiple losses between 2015 - 2023, each marking major identity dissolutions
- Grief thresholds: Repeated cycles of deep grief associated with death, divorce, illness, and spiritual initiation
HEALTH THRESHOLDS
- Triple-negative breast cancer diagnosis: 2015 (exactly on my 30th birthday)
- Near-death spiritual initiation in Lesotho: December 2015
- Full biological, psychological & spiritual reconstruction: 2016 - present
IDENTITY / SPIRITUAL THRESHOLDS
- Spiritual awakening: 2015 - 2016. Catalysed by cancer diagnosis (on my 30th birthday) and near-death experience in Lesotho. Collapse of all previous identity structures.
- Shamanic initiation: Activated December 2015, integrated 2016 - 2018. Ancestral calling, near-death reconstruction, emergence of first shamanic medicine - divination
- Vision Quest (wilderness threshold): 2025 (on my 40th birthday). Multi-day solitary fasting and night vigil on the mountain. Confrontation with terror, the Raven, the foaming grasshopper, and the recognition of my role as Threshold Guide. Crystallised my Threshold medicine and my vow to live from my initiatory identity.
- Multiple identity reconstructions: 2015 - present. Each threshold dissolving and remaking the self.
- Integration of spiritual and professional identity: 2025 – present. Birth of The Threshold Methodology™ and The Raven’s Quill™.
PROFESSIONAL THRESHOLDS
Major career transitions:
- Early childhood development specialist career in education and NGO sector (2008 to present)
- Political strategist and campaign director of a major political organisation (2016 - 2018)
- Collapse of professional identity post-illness (2015 - 2018)
- Emergence as Manifestation Expert and Clairvoyant (2018 to present)
- Creation of Threshold Support as a field (2024)
- Founding of The Raven’s Quill™, integrating psychology, anthropology, ritual, and narrative medicine (2015 to present)
Vocational crises & reinventions:
2008 - present: Each reinvention aligning me more deeply with my soul’s work
WHY I DO THIS WORK
I do this work because no one should have to cross alone.
I crossed my worst thresholds with inadequate support. Therapy that couldn't hold the depth. Friends who meant well but didn't understand. A legal system designed for warfare. A culture that wanted me to "move on" before I'd even let myself fall apart.
I survived anyway. But it was harder than it had to be.
Now I offer what I needed then:
- Witness that doesn't try to fix
- Depth that doesn't bypass shadow
- Lived experience that knows the territory
- Holding that trusts your crossing
If you're at a threshold right now - you don't have to do it alone.
That's why I'm here.
WHAT MY CHILDREN TEACH ME
My children are 15 and 17 years old.
They are:
- Psychologically healthy
- Emotionally regulated
- Academically thriving
- Pursuing their passions
- Able to name their feelings
- Able to set boundaries
- Attached securely to both parents (despite their father's limitations)
This is not because I'm a perfect parent. I'm not.
This is because I crossed my thresholds consciously.
I held my own pain so they didn't have to carry it. I got support so I didn't collapse on them. I did my shadow work so I didn't project it onto them. I refused to weaponise them against their father, even when he weaponised them against me.
Children don't need perfect parents. They need parents who cross their own thresholds consciously.
My children are thriving because I did this work. They are my evidence.
Professional Background
FORMAL TRAINING MATTERS. LIVED EXPERIENCE MATTERS MORE.
Here's the background I bring to this work and why credentials alone don't qualify anyone to hold thresholds.
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH CREDENTIALS
Let me be direct about credentials:
I have formal training (listed below). It's relevant. It informs my work. It provides framework, language, and tools.
But credentials don't qualify anyone to hold thresholds.
You can have a PhD in psychology and have never crossed a threshold consciously. You can be a licensed therapist and not be able to hold shadow without trying to fix it. You can be a certified coach and have no idea what the void actually feels like.
What qualifies me to hold thresholds:
- I've crossed them myself (multiple times, consciously, and survived)
- I've developed methodology from lived experience (not just adopted someone else's)
- I've held many people through crossings (individuals, couples, families, organisations)
- I've continued my own development (therapy, supervision, ongoing training)
- I know my limits (and refer when something is outside my scope)
Credentials are foundation. Lived experience is the house.
FORMAL TRAINING & CREDENTIALS
EDUCATION
B Social Science: Psychology & Anthropology (2004 -2006)
University of Pretoria
Focus: Psychology, human behaviour, organisational systems, anthropology,
B Social Science Honours: Anthropology (2007)
University of Pretoria
Postgraduate study and continuing scholarship
Focus: Identity, culture, narrative-making, meaning systems, the anthropology of transitions, and the lived experience of threshold states.
National Diploma in Early Childhood Development (2010-2012)
(Completed prior to entering the social-impact sector)
Foundational training in developmental psychology, attachment and bonding, learning theory, child development frameworks, behavioural patterns, and holistic family systems.
Postgraduate Diploma in Management: Public & Development Sector Monitoring and Evaluation (2015)
Wits School of Governance
Focus: programme evaluation, systems thinking, public-sector reform, research design, organisational learning, and social-impact measurement.
Master of Management: Public & Development Sector Monitoring and Evaluation - Master’s-Level Training
Wits School of Governance
Focus: advanced MEL theory, complexity and adaptive systems, developmental evaluation, qualitative and quantitative inquiry, organisational culture and change.
Masters of Management: Business & Executive Coaching - Master’s-Level Training (2020)
Wits Business School
Professional training in coaching psychology, leadership development, systems thinking, organisational dynamics, and evidence-based coaching frameworks for executives and senior leaders.
PROFESSIONAL TRAINING & SPECIALISATIONS
Monitoring, Evaluation & Learning (MEL)
Advanced professional training in research design, impact measurement, social programme evaluation, and large-scale systems analysis - foundational to my work in mapping and evaluating human thresholds with precision and depth.
Trauma-Informed Practice
Ongoing training in trauma physiology, somatic awareness, nervous-system regulation, and the psychological anatomy of crisis.
Depth Work & Narrative Reconstruction
Continuing studies in depth psychology, archetypal systems, narrative identity reconstruction, grief process, and meaning-making during dissolution.
Spiritual & Shamanic Initiatory Training (Experiential)
Rooted in direct experience:
Near-death activation, ancestral initiation, wilderness threshold (Vision Quest), and integration of spiritual and psychological frameworks into an ethical professional practice.
AREAS OF FORMAL & INFORMAL STUDY
- Threshold crossing and transitional identity
- Shadow, grief, and emotional fragmentation
- Somatic awareness and nervous-system regulation
- Anthropological approaches to self, story, and culture
- Leadership and organisational transitions
- Conscious relationship dynamics
- Trauma-aware co-parenting and high-conflict family systems
- Narrative psychology and authorship practices
ONGOING DEVELOPMENT
I continue my own development through:
- Personal therapy (ongoing-I have my own therapist)
- Supervision/consultation (regular consultation with experienced practitioners)
- Training (annual continuing education)
- My own threshold crossing (lived experience is ongoing teacher)
WHAT I’M QUALIFIED TO DO
Based on my formal training, professional experience, initiatory thresholds, and ancestral giftings, I am qualified to provide:
✅ Depth Threshold Support (The Threshold Methodology™)
Holding individuals, couples, families, and organisations through identity dissolution, transition, and reconstruction.
✅ Shadow Work (Individual & Relational)
Depth-oriented shadow integration rooted in psychology, anthropology, trauma awareness, and lived experience.
✅ Somatic & Body-Based Threshold Practices
Nervous-system oriented work based on trauma-informed embodiment, Vision Quest training, and my own physiological reconstruction after illness.
✅ Grief Support (Non-Clinical)
Holding complex grief - death, divorce, identity loss, illness, spiritual collapse - without bypassing or rushing the process.
✅ Ritual Design & Facilitation
Creating and leading rituals for endings, beginnings, transitions, integration, and sacred witnessing - informed by anthropology and shamanic initiation.
✅ Organisational Threshold Consulting
Supporting organisations through transitions using MEL, systems thinking, organisational psychology, narrative mapping, and leadership development.
✅ Manager & Executive Training on Threshold Support
Educating leaders on navigating staff transitions, identity shifts, and relational dynamics during organisational change.
✅ Executive Mentorship Through Threshold
Supporting senior leaders, founders, and high-impact practitioners through periods of dissolution, reinvention, and calling.
✅ Couples, Family & Co-Parenting Threshold Work (Non-Clinical)
Depth support for conscious partnership, blended-family integration, and high-conflict co-parenting.
✅ Threshold Seership / Clairvoyant Insight
Ancestral, intuitive, and clairvoyant guidance rooted in my shamanic initiation and Vision Quest activation - used ethically, non-predictively, and only to deepen clarity within threshold work (never as fortune-telling or divination for entertainment).
WHAT I'M NOT QUALIFIED TO DO (And Don't Do)
I am clear about my scope of practice:
❌ NOT THERAPY
I do not:
- diagnose mental illnesses
- provide clinical treatment
- accept medical aid insurance
- offer psychological counselling
- function as a psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, or counsellor
If you need clinical mental health support, I will refer you to a qualified therapist.
❌ NOT MEDICAL CARE
I do not:
- treat medical conditions
- advise on medication
- replace healthcare providers
If you need medical support, you must consult a medical doctor.
❌ NOT LEGAL SERVICES
I do not:
- provide legal advice
- prepare legal documents
- act as a mediator in a legal capacity
- testify in court
If you need legal help, I will refer you to an attorney or accredited mediator.
❌ NOT CRISIS INTERVENTION
I do not:
- provide emergency mental health services
- handle acute psychiatric crises
- provide crisis stabilisation
If you are in immediate danger (suicidal, psychotic, homicidal), please contact emergency services or the nearest hospital.
Once stabilised, we can continue threshold work safely.
WHEN I REFER OUT
I refer clients to other professionals when:
- Clinical mental health support is needed (therapy, psychiatry)
- Medical evaluation or treatment is required
- Legal guidance or representation is necessary
- The situation involves acute crisis intervention
- Your needs fall outside my expertise
- Another practitioner would serve you better
I maintain a network of trusted therapists, psychiatrists, mediators, attorneys, physicians, and other practitioners - and will connect you to the support you need.
MY SUPERVISION & PROFESSIONAL SUPPORT
How I ensure ethical, grounded, high-quality practice:
CONSULTATION
I receive regular professional consultation on my client work (without sharing identifying information) to ensure depth, rigour, and ethical alignment.
MY OWN THERAPY
I work consistently with my own therapist to address my patterns, thresholds, and shadows - so I don’t project them onto clients.
PEER SUPPORT
I am in active community with other depth practitioners, coaches, ritualists, and threshold guides. We challenge, witness, and strengthen each other’s development.
CONTINUING EDUCATION
I continuously study and train - in psychology, anthropology, MEL, somatics, shamanic work, and threshold theory - to deepen my skill, understanding, and capacity.
WHY CREDENTIALS ALONE DON'T QUALIFY THRESHOLD HOLDING
I've met practitioners with impressive credentials who can't hold threshold.
Why?
They've never crossed one consciously themselves.
You can have a PhD in grief and never have let grief unmake you. You can be certified in divorce coaching and never have had your identity die. You can be a trauma expert and never have sat in the void without trying to escape it.
Book knowledge isn't embodied wisdom.
When you're falling apart, you don't need someone who's studied falling apart. You need someone who's fallen apart and reconstructed themselves consciously.
That's what I bring:
Not just training (though I have it). Not just credentials (though I have those).
Lived experience of crossing thresholds that should have destroyed me-and emerging transformed.
That's what qualifies me to hold your crossing.